Chastity in Thought

Last 3 days I spent them close to one of my favorite persons in the professional area. I met Pedro 2012 through a video conference. Later, I got to meet him for real. I have not much clue who is he, except that he is able to talk biotechnology language and is really good at organizing international meetings and educating people about genetic modified organisms and so on.

It was instant intellectual attraction!
Of course all contact with him was always very professional and I never had the chance to talk other things with him. Still I had a strong crash on him. 

This time I had worked more. This time I had experience and practiced on how to focus better and get  as close I can to see people with Divine Vision. Yes it is not something easy to achieve as we usually stain our glasses with sin.

Cat tie speaks for itself

From day 1, I had to put all my effort in self control. The main reason is that I didn't want to see him as an object, but to see further and appreciate his presence as a whole human being. Granted, I still don't know much about him, but we had more chances to talk and turns out he was very kind to suggest a new alternative for my work situation. It is actually a very kind suggestion, and very thankful as a human being for that. 

Today I depart away once more. Only my Father in heaven knows if I'll see him again. But today I can also have a little happiness dance!!

For I was able through prayer, penitence and a lot of commitment with God to achieve a step more into thought chastity. Not as easy as the world thinks, but in my Father's arms it was not impossible.

This whole small-big achievement is more meaningful as today is Mother Teresa's day, and tomorrow I'll start my novice year before becoming for the first time a Lay Missionary of Charity. 

Blessed day, blessed step, blessed life that is granted for FREE, to set me FREE from the slavery of this world.

Chastity ROCKS!

Over a year ago, I took the decision and had the conviction that there is one virtue that could be key in my process to sainthood. Whether I achieve this goal or not, I found that doing my best effort is worth it. 

Before this personal commitment I had no clue about "The pure hearts movement" or similar groups. It was just something that sprung inside me, out of God's Grace. For years, when I felt victim of the world relativism and its lie, I was trapped inside the sin of lust. 

Granted, we all sin even daily, but from the capital sins, one seems to stick with us for the most part of our life. Lust was my weak point. It dragged me to believe the urban myth, that it is just through the pleasure of our flesh that life has a meaning. IT DOESN'T!

But I guess you have to go through this experience first and realize that after years of following this false idea, life seems empty and repetitive. It feels desperate. Slowly I started to realize, that this couldn't be the key to happiness or even more, the key to Joy. 

I think, that secretly, and then loudly, I started to ask God's help to get rid of this sin. Some times I thought I had a victory, but this was just for a short period, and then I could fall all over again. One day I found the "solution" when I was in the darkest knight of my life.

I gave up all! I knelt and offered all my life to God. I couldn't try anymore on my own. Few months later, my Theology of the Body (TOB) speaker seminar came. I fed myself with new and rich information and as the seminar was ending I prayed in my heart.... "Christ, restore my virginity; teach me how to walk in the path of Chastity".

Chastity helps!

God doesn't work magic tricks...or does He? It may be that before this moment I was ready to give it all and let myself be guided by Him. Or it could just be His never ending Mercy. The fact is that after my TOB seminar was over, my new life began! I was set FREE from lust! and how wonderful this freedom feels even today. 

As I see the relativist world where I live, where a lot of people praise persons with same sex attraction, I don't understand how different their sin is from mine. Lust is one, and happens to men and women. It can be targeted to the opposite sex or like it is the fashion today, to the same sex. But lust reduces ourselves to be just flesh, as if we had no spirit or consciousness. Today most people are defined by their sexual life, with a very reductionist way of being. 

Chastity on the other hand, has offered me the chance to value my femininity and discover my genius. And while walking on this path I'm not free of falling in this sin, I have gained the chance to see others for who they are...and not just a body! This allows me always reach out to God and ask mercy. To be in front of a person, whom you recognize their human dignity for being creatures of the same Father is a whole different perspective than what lust offered me. 

Hopefully in year and a half or so, I will take this vow for real when I become a Lay Missionary of Charity. Meanwhile, I will keep learning about this wonderful virtue we are granted and how not to fall into pride at the same time.