chastity formula

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Understanding my DESIRE

More than 6 months have passed. I'm back home. And I really feel COMPLETE! Though for society here I'm a lunatic for remaining single and childless.... I feel complete in Christ. There is still lots to do in order to start a Theology of the Body diving course in Spanish. Hopefully by January 15 I can have the material prepared and start encouraging Catholics to grow in their faith. Bolivia lacks people that is prepared and ready to speak up in Gospel Terms.
The pile of books keeps increasing. Now I'm devoted to Chesterton, Rev. Fulton Sheen and Edith Stein. Ratzinger is still a big part in that pile. There is plenty to read still in his 2nd part of Jesus of Nazareth. My motivation is the 3rd part of the trilogy, coming to my hands very soon. 
Meanwhile, relativism, hedonism and consumerism keep crawling up into this world. I found that the so called "friends" do really disappear once you become an Orthodox Catholic. It is OK  I rather burn for Christ than be lukewarm to please them.

Past Advent, I've discovered a new component in my path. The Eternal Desire written in my heart, soul and life. This Desire for Infinity, that matches the love that was pure into me when I was created. Reading other material I'm starting to find more links that explain the longing I have had in my life for so long. More things have a sense now. Chastity has become one of them. A wonderful gift that was given to me when I surrendered my life to Him. This gift is demonstrating me that His gifts are at the same time loaded with more blessings than we could expect. 
Life as I knew it, is no longer interesting for me. I desire more than I would imagine that scatological life! The promise is more tempting than a night out with friends, and so I rather stay reading more and praying than just ignoring this Thirst and Desire for God.
In His kindness, He has provided me a community among my parents and another one among the Missionaries of Charity. Work is also a blessing: the secular and the voluntary. I can't no longer stay up until late as days are busy busy, either with regular things to do at work, or with the extras: A pro-life formative bulletin, transcriptions for my Sisters, executing my spiritual motherhood with friends or family and preparing myself as well in this deserted valley.
Before the end of this year I just wish a simple thing: to find my spiritual guide. Life in Your Hands is GREAT! I can't really understand why people feels so comfortable with crumbles, when you can have a whole Banquet with the GROOM!.