chastity formula

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Dulces despertares

Entre tus mimos y la imagen y voz de aquel que pusiste en mi camino sin esperarlo yo, los despertares estos días han sido mágicos mi Dios. Hay días que quiero simplemente dormir y olvidarme que hay tanto aún por hacer.

Entonces Tú te acercas a susurrarme que quieres estar un momento en silencio conmigo, quieres escucharme, quieres acompañarme antes que todo el día venga con su bullicio y ajetreo. Me apoyo en ti, te tomo la mano y clamo fuerzas para el día que empieza. Agradezco entre lagrimas la felicidad y las bendiciones que me regalas.

Entre mis bendiciones te pido por el, por mi querido ateo, aquel que me sorprendio con la claridad de sus palabras, con su franqueza y su cariño. Ese hombre lindo que me hace estremecer aun cuando duermo y se mezcla en mis sueños, sonriendo, hablandome.

Nunca fue tan extraño para mi extrañar a alguien, porque es una mezcla de dolor y gozo. Hay días que me duele más y en otros me hacen recordar lo que siento y lo que el desperto en mi. No se como decir gracias, las palabras se quedan cortas, simplemente sonrio estupefacta. La promesa esta aun viva, queremos vernos, queremos compartir otro tiempo juntos. Escuchame y acepta mis palabras, dandome Tu Paz y Paciencia para saber esperar Tus tiempos y Tu voluntad.

:∗ gracias Amor!

Monday, March 21, 2011

My dear atheist

Ever since I was a child I grew up listening about you, I heard your Name and about your Mercy. For me it was a given. Despite my revel side, laziness and comfortable way to accept You, that all changed in a long process that took almost 14 years and it is still going on.

A few years back, I started meeting people who had no contact with You. Either by ignorance or by own decision. My dear atheists. These showed me Your great action on others, despite their attitude towards You, and how that phrase about You working in mysterious ways was actually real, at least to my eyes and comprehension.

I often wonder, how is this possible, how they are capable of such wonderful values and kindness?. Their hearts are warm and generous, and willing to embrace others too. I started to accept them, to embrace their kindness and smile with joy to their attitude that sometimes it is more noble than so many "religious" persons.

Now, I'm very close to one of them. And as much as he declares to not need You, or that you might be a powerful idea for some faithful people, I still see so much of You shinning in him. And because I recognize his honesty and the purity of his feelings, I now wonder... how can I participate on his salvation?. No, You know I don't want to save him, that is only in Your hands. But I wonder, hope and wish, that my prayers are a big contribution for now.

Why did You crossed my path with his, it will remain uncertain. For now I can only bless him in Your name, be grateful with You and this encounter and ask you kindly if we could meet again. This Love you grant me, has found a welcome embrace in him. The rest, is in Your hands. I'll put my best, work my thesis, look to achieve my last objective here and I will ask more than anything PATIENT, so I can wait and accept how things will develop. My heart and my wishes are far too old for You, be kind and save me from day dreaming.

En nombre de tu hijo amado Jesus, Amen.

Friday, March 4, 2011

I need silence

What is real? how can I hear you?. I've let myself be dragged into a world of nonsense and noise the last couple of weeks.

I had too much going on around me and trying to catch all at once I lost balance and sense of reality. Lent is close to start, and I cannot think of a better way to re-connect to You other than shutting all that actually distracts me from You. I need a time to think, to listen, to heal. I need your mercy.

I was trying to cope with some last minute facts in my life the best that I could. The emptiness someone special left, the tedious work of my thesis, the overwhelming load of what will happen next. I failed. I can't deal with all at once alone.

Here I am now, surrendering myself to your feet, asking peace and patience. I can't fight this battle alone or distant from You. This is why I chose to silence some things that feed more my anguish and fears.

I offer you this silence, so that You can open my ears and eyes to your Light and Peace. Heal my heart and soul, be merciful and forgive me. Feed me with your Love so I can forgive myself first and then the others.

Some times I get so stubborn and wish everybody could react the way I act. I don't want to hurt those who care about me and those who I care most. Let them know in their hearts that I'm in Your hands, safe and healing.

Because if I want to love the others the way You want me to, first I need to go back to You, delight myself in Your love and learn to love myself the way I am, with my best and my worst, recognizing my weakness and my need of You. When I'm recovered from this fall, I will be able to go out again and enjoy the joy of giving my life for others and not keeping it to me.

With your Mercy and Peace, I will heal. Grant me this moment of peace so I can be closer to You. Asi sea dulce Padre.