chastity formula

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Learning to TRUST and WAIT

Maybe because all my life I have had few difficult moments I thought I knew how to trust in You. Maybe I was trusting in me. Maybe I always felt I could achieve all in my time and in my way... maybe that is why now it gets so difficult to empty myself of me and let You pour Yourself. 
I confess to you Jesus that I have no clue how to trust You COMPLETELY. Please teach me.

I abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me,
and in all your creatures -
I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into your hands I commend my soul:
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.

Prayer of Abandonment Charles de Foucauld

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Saint Cecilia, my example

I wonder if my mom had think about this saint when she named me after her. Despite St. Cecilia is not one of the saints that caught my attention right away in my early years, she has become a part of the saints I claim for their prayers.

Why I was not identified with her? If you take in one hand the revels like Saint Francis, Saint Agustin, Saint Ignatius and even Saint Teresa of Avila, St. Cecilia was pure like St. Clare all her life. These women had no stain in their life. All the opposite, they were devoted and almost immaculate. How could I have related to her? Yes I knew her story and I thought: WOW! she had to be decapitated because she wouldn't burn in fire? She had such protection surrounding her life. 

Unlike St. Cecilia, I did many mistakes up into recently. I stained my hands and feet with wrong decisions and a big dose of arrogance. On top of that, I have little music skills (I do enjoy classic music, operas and other rhythms that are not strident). 

My life to Christ was engaged by the revels, by the humane persons that later became saints. I could easily identify myself with them. Their struggle, their constant falls and the slow FULL conversion process they had. In that sense I'm deeply thankful to my beloved mother, for she is the one that provided me always with short stories about saints.

Not so long ago, I started putting more attention to St. Cecilia. Her story is not as explicit as the stories from the other saints I've mentioned. But the day I saw the picture of her statue, and heard the artistic description of it, my approach to  my patron changed. I listened how Stefano Maderno was overwhelmed and shocked when he observed the incorrupt body of the saint, and how this moment inspired him to produce such a beautiful statue that lies now in her church in Trastevere. 

I must have contemplated the image of this statue more than 30 minutes. One can see how Maderno did not forget any detail: the wound in her neck, the 3 fingers in one hand (Trinity) and the other hand pointing just one (One God), and the posture. Seems she is deep sleep. 

So this is the Saint my mom took as an inspiration to name me. How different I am from her, and how far I feel I am from her steps. But today at least I'm walking in a new path, inspiring my days with her example. Claiming that she can intercede for my life, my decisions and for the restoration of my virginity. She was blessed to keep her self virgin, in flesh and spirit. This is my new target and goal. 

Sweet and pure St. Cecilia, pray for all women and me.