Chastity ROCKS!

Over a year ago, I took the decision and had the conviction that there is one virtue that could be key in my process to sainthood. Whether I achieve this goal or not, I found that doing my best effort is worth it. 

Before this personal commitment I had no clue about "The pure hearts movement" or similar groups. It was just something that sprung inside me, out of God's Grace. For years, when I felt victim of the world relativism and its lie, I was trapped inside the sin of lust. 

Granted, we all sin even daily, but from the capital sins, one seems to stick with us for the most part of our life. Lust was my weak point. It dragged me to believe the urban myth, that it is just through the pleasure of our flesh that life has a meaning. IT DOESN'T!

But I guess you have to go through this experience first and realize that after years of following this false idea, life seems empty and repetitive. It feels desperate. Slowly I started to realize, that this couldn't be the key to happiness or even more, the key to Joy. 

I think, that secretly, and then loudly, I started to ask God's help to get rid of this sin. Some times I thought I had a victory, but this was just for a short period, and then I could fall all over again. One day I found the "solution" when I was in the darkest knight of my life.

I gave up all! I knelt and offered all my life to God. I couldn't try anymore on my own. Few months later, my Theology of the Body (TOB) speaker seminar came. I fed myself with new and rich information and as the seminar was ending I prayed in my heart.... "Christ, restore my virginity; teach me how to walk in the path of Chastity".

Chastity helps!

God doesn't work magic tricks...or does He? It may be that before this moment I was ready to give it all and let myself be guided by Him. Or it could just be His never ending Mercy. The fact is that after my TOB seminar was over, my new life began! I was set FREE from lust! and how wonderful this freedom feels even today. 

As I see the relativist world where I live, where a lot of people praise persons with same sex attraction, I don't understand how different their sin is from mine. Lust is one, and happens to men and women. It can be targeted to the opposite sex or like it is the fashion today, to the same sex. But lust reduces ourselves to be just flesh, as if we had no spirit or consciousness. Today most people are defined by their sexual life, with a very reductionist way of being. 

Chastity on the other hand, has offered me the chance to value my femininity and discover my genius. And while walking on this path I'm not free of falling in this sin, I have gained the chance to see others for who they are...and not just a body! This allows me always reach out to God and ask mercy. To be in front of a person, whom you recognize their human dignity for being creatures of the same Father is a whole different perspective than what lust offered me. 

Hopefully in year and a half or so, I will take this vow for real when I become a Lay Missionary of Charity. Meanwhile, I will keep learning about this wonderful virtue we are granted and how not to fall into pride at the same time.

One year after…

By the end of this month (April) it will be a whole year ever since I started walking completely and fully the path of Chastity. The last trigger was my Theology Of the Body Speaker training workshop. After that my way back to Bolivia was appointed. I had little clue what was I going to do back in country, but I had full confidence in what God was doing. After all it took all my courage and all my pride to surrender to Him and accept His will. 

In TOB words: “Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy.” (CC 2339)

Last Saturday (April 13), the path to become a consecrated Lay Missionary of Charity was open, and now I’m officially an aspirant to discover if this call is mine. Unlike other people, I’ve found a great delight and strength in weekly adoration and in trying to pray the Rosary daily. Prayer is such a wonderful dialogue you can have with God. The Rosary is such a wonderful weapon against wicked and evil.

Temptation is not absent. But I have the feeling that the moment I depart myself from a life of prayer, it won’t be so “easy” to avoid it. I often wonder if for many is easier to just give in and try to justify a sinful life than to hang on to Christ’s hand and fight next to Him. 

Eph 6:11 Be clothed in the armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the treachery of the devil.

Eph 6: 16-18 In all things, take up the shield of faith, with which you may be able to extinguish all the fiery darts of the most wicked one. And take up the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit (which is the Word of God).Through every kind of prayer and supplication, pray at all times in spirit, and so be vigilant with every kind of earnest supplication, for all the saints.

Understanding my DESIRE

More than 6 months have passed. I'm back home. And I really feel COMPLETE! Though for society here I'm a lunatic for remaining single and childless.... I feel complete in Christ. There is still lots to do in order to start a Theology of the Body diving course in Spanish. Hopefully by January 15 I can have the material prepared and start encouraging Catholics to grow in their faith. Bolivia lacks people that is prepared and ready to speak up in Gospel Terms.

The pile of books keeps increasing. Now I'm devoted to Chesterton, Rev. Fulton Sheen and Edith Stein. Ratzinger is still a big part in that pile. There is plenty to read still in his 2nd part of Jesus of Nazareth. My motivation is the 3rd part of the trilogy, coming to my hands very soon. 

Meanwhile, relativism, hedonism and consumerism keep crawling up into this world. I found that the so called "friends" do really disappear once you become an Orthodox Catholic. It is OK  I rather burn for Christ than be lukewarm to please them. 

Past Advent, I've discovered a new component in my path. The Eternal Desire written in my heart, soul and life. This Desire for Infinity, that matches the love that was pure into me when I was created. Reading other material I'm starting to find more links that explain the longing I have had in my life for so long. More things have a sense now. Chastity has become one of them. A wonderful gift that was given to me when I surrendered my life to Him. This gift is demonstrating me that His gifts are at the same time loaded with more blessings than we could expect. 

Life as I knew it, is no longer interesting for me. I desire more than I would imagine that scatological life! The promise is more tempting than a night out with friends, and so I rather stay reading more and praying than just ignoring this Thirst and Desire for God.

In His kindness, He has provided me a community among my parents and another one among the Missionaries of Charity. Work is also a blessing: the secular and the voluntary. I can't no longer stay up until late as days are busy busy, either with regular things to do at work, or with the extras: A pro-life formative bulletin, transcriptions for my Sisters, executing my spiritual motherhood with friends or family and preparing myself as well in this deserted valley.

Before the end of this year I just wish a simple thing: to find my spiritual guide. Life in Your Hands is GREAT! I can't really understand why people feels so comfortable with crumbles, when you can have a whole Banquet with the GROOM!.