The relativist and materialistic society in which I have to live laughs about fidelity. Fidelity among lovers, among family and among friends.
FIDELITY: the quality or state of being faithful (Merrian Webster dictionary).
FAITHFUL: 1. strict or thorough in the performance of duty. 2. true to one's word, promises, vows, etc. 3. steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant: faithful friends. 4. reliable, trusted, or believed. 5. adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original; accurate: a faithful account; a faithful copy. (dictionary.com)
Let me highlight some words from this last definition: TRUE - LOYAL - RELIABLE - BELIEVED - TRUE.
This is more of what I haven't been able to find in people. Thinking back one year, I realize I've spent little time cultivating friendship with the people who is worth of this gift and who are RELIABLE and TRUE and instead I've been wasting my time with people who were closer. This doesn't mean they were RELIABLE, LOYAL or even worst TRUE.
Years back, I decided I was going to give back what people will give me. Some times this is a way to "shield" me from persons who are not worth to keep in my life. Recently, I was treated by a common shield that some persons use: sarcasm humor. This is not my favorite as by experience this reflects a big tangled inner situation that needs to be really well covered with simple attacks and "witty" pitiful comments. I gave it a try and the person who is ready to attack couldn't hold bit of my sarcasm and even worst, couldn't handle at all with my up front honesty. I must recognize, that at least I saved a lot of details in this last one. I've been told that my honesty can be so harsh that most people is not ready to hear such things.
When I grew up, I had the fortune to be part of a large "family". During school years, we grew like siblings with more than 30 persons. We shared day by day, pains, sufferings, joy, fun moments and laughter. We grew up in a sort of brotherhood. We learned to be loyal and be always honest with one another. We had fidelity for our friendship and though we would respect personal decisions, this wouldn't mean that we would back up some shady ideas. Yes, we would even take sides if if was for the best of our friends. That led us to have difficult moments were we could get upset with each other, but after some time, we were able to recognize that some STRICT behavior from our peers was necessary for us to correct our path. As necessary is God's way to correct us from our failure and mistakes.
All this is take nowadays as very intense, brutal and too weird. As some would say "too confusing". Well, however is taken, I still respect that level of camaraderie I have with my old friends and I appreciate it when some new friends respect and value this too. I've been chasing the wrong friends and the wrong persons.
Connecting myself to reality, to my Love, I realize now that to lose some of these people in my life was not a real loss. All the opposite, this is a win-win situation for both. I'm free to keep walking the way I accept and the other is free to keep being sinking in his/her twisted life.
Next time, I only wish I can be more like little Saint Theresa and be more quiet, passive and ignore these situations right away. I wish that my spoken word can be mute so I don't have to feel upset or angry about the other person. NEXT time, this defect will have to be purified in order to keep my FIDELITY to You!