chastity formula

Saturday, December 24, 2011

A broken edge

Temptation awaits in every corner, when you least expect it, when you lower the guard. It is not Your fault, it is not Your doing. It was my mistake, my fall, my decision. 

The base you were shaping has fallen. Not all is broken, but my edges have cracked and turned down. The whole me has responded with sickness before the image of what I've done. I've failed you, I've lied to me once more. And yet, despite the loss of that part in Your base, there is a blessed eye opener. 

I understand what and who I am now. I understand the unity of my body, soul and mind. I understand how this life in this body is not a prison but a shelter. You are destroying the chains to this long time enslaving into my passion, the fake idea that I can fill my emptiness with just any thing.

This is how I see now, and I might have been dazzled by some reflex, some false lights and the empty promise of a giver. But there was always something that never ended up making sense. The secrecy in his chest, the silence of his truth (is there any?) and possible the lack of any hope. I wonder, do they have a clue the beauty, the treasure they have in their live? If they knew, the word RESPECT would mean more than just a vague intention, but would give them the freedom to walk into the TRUTH. 

Before I used to ignore what was this marvelous gift You gave me as woman. Many times, I threw away your gift, others I would just reject it and searched my own satisfaction, my own pleasure and gratification. Slowly I started to understand and though I failed to accomplish my new goal before, this time I slippered, but I'm not totally fallen. Somehow Your hand reached me in time and grasped me to You once more. 

How empty, lonely and sad seems to look the other without the appreciation of his/her own gift. Lost in doubt, unwilling to give, to let go, to LIVE. Fearful, slave of his passions.The living dead, day by day, by chance, with no conviction, with no real goal. Is this really a life??

Is not just a matter of not finding, but how can I be satisfied with somebody who doesn't understand the beauty of your Divine gift? Before I keep falling, give me Your strength, Your vision, Your PATIENCE and above all Your Temperament to keep walking. 
Fill up my heart with Peace and Joy. Blessed are You, little baby that find space in my unfinished base. Be welcomed to be my Savior and my King. Amen.

Psalm 96
 Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad, let the sea be moved, and the fulness thereof:
the fields and all things that are in them shall be joyful. Then shall all the trees of the woods rejoice
before the face of the Lord, because he cometh: because he cometh to judge the earth. He shall judge the world with justice, and the people with his truth.